Girlfriend in a Coma

Sleeping Bride is an oft-overlooked entry in the filmography of the director Hideo Nakata. Made after his two world-famous Ring movies, and two years before his acclaimed Dark Water, it seems to have been ignored by many critics because Nakata was heralded at the time as the new face of Japanese horror, and Sleeping Bride did not fit that category. It is not a horror film. It is a quirky, some might say, perversely one-sided romance, between a boy and the comatose girl with whom he falls in love. It is also based on a 1971 manga story written for a teen magazine by the creator of Astro Boy, Osamu Tezuka.


In 1971, Tezuka was in his early forties, and clinging anxiously to his celebrity status. In February of that year, he became the chairman of the Tezuka Award committee, which handed out prizes to the best new artists at Shonen Jump magazine. In May, we see him signing books at a department store, and in August at another department store, he opened an exhibition of his work. But all this activity concealed desperate times. Most critically for understanding Tezuka in this period, in September 1971 he stepped down as the Managing Director of his own studio, Mushi Production. In hindsight, we know that this was a sign of great financial turmoil, and that the beleaguered Tezuka had taken all the company’s debts upon himself. Mushi Production, the child of his creative genius, was hanging by a thread, and the onset of a recession in 1973 would completely wreck it, along with much of the Japanese animation business. It is tempting to see Tezuka himself in the absent father of the Sleeping Bride, who disappears, disconsolate, from the story while waiting for a magical cure to rescue his pride and joy.


Tezuka kept a feverish working pace, determined to drag his company out of debt. In the list of Tezuka’s actual publications that year, we see a large number of occurrences of the word yomikiri: one-shot. Amid ongoing arguments with the remaining Mushi staff over how his work should be treated, he was largely avoiding new, large-scale serials. Instead, he threw his efforts into an incredibly prolific scattershot approach. He wrote comics for any magazine that would take him, and he churned them out as fast as he could think them up.


Published in Shonen Sunday magazine on 21st February 1971, Garasu no Noh or The Glass Brain, sometimes known as the Transparent Brain, was a one-shot tale that would become the basis of Sleeping Bride. The central narrative remains unchanged in the movie – a sleeping girl, her very name a pun on “yume” (Jpn: dream), is the passive prize sought by a boy who comes to regard her as the living manifestation of Sleeping Beauty. But Yuichi is not the only man in Yumi’s life. Her father is noticeable by his absence, fleeing his responsibilities only to fret repeatedly about his daughter’s fate – an unkind twist, perhaps, on the many absent benefactors who lurk in the background of stories for Japanese girls. In her father’s place is Yumi’s physician, an uncompromising figure representing the arrogance and corruption of the adult world.


Chiaki Konaka’s film script sticks closely to Tezuka’s original, usually repeating it panel for panel. Yumi’s mother, in the comic, dies in a train crash, unlike the plane crash whose eerily quiet aftermath marks the film’s opening shots. Konaka’s only noteworthy addition is a glimpse of the world Yuichi is leaving behind, framing his trips to the hospital with snatches of a mundane high-school romance. In terms of Japanese drama, particularly on TV and in manga, it is clear for all to see who Yuichi’s sweetheart should be, and it’s not the unknown princess in a coma. In returning repeatedly to the hospital, Yuichi repudiates the life that fate seems to have in store for him, in favour of the responsibilities of life with Yumi.


In introducing the concept of a pure, innocent love between children, blossoming when they are finally united in their teens, Tezuka prefigures a common trope in modern manga, known as osana najimi, or childhood friends. Anime and manga are riddled with mawkish romances between teenagers who last met when they were toddlers. But here we see an early prefiguring, not of the girl next door, so much as the girl in the next hospital ward.


It is worth mentioning that Charly, the film based on Daniel Keyes’s Hugo award-winning Flowers for Algernon, similarly depicted a hospital patient who comes alive and flourishes very briefly, before fate intervenes. Released in America in 1968, Charly reached Japan shortly afterwards, and remains a popular staple with local audiences – it has even been remade as two stage plays, a radio play, and as a Japanese TV series, and was even referenced in the film End of Evangelion. If Charly were an influence, it certainly would not be the first time that Tezuka had lifted the bare bones of a Hollywood story pitch and made it uniquely his own – his early Metropolis was based on his reading of a magazine article about the Fritz Lang original.


Both the Sleeping Bride manga and film focus their interest on the nature of Yumi – a girl with the mind of a child, but the body of a woman. In the last 20 years, in the anime and manga world, this has been reversed, eroticised, and put to rather creepy use, in a succession of images of females with the bodies of children but the desires of adults. But the concept of the ingénue in manga is something that Tezuka was very interested in exploring, and indeed, at the time he was writing Sleeping Bride, he was also writing a single ongoing series, with a similar protagonist. Like many schoolgirl superheroines, the titular Marvellous Melmo was able to transform into an older, more glamorous version of herself. She could right wrongs and rescue her siblings in this adult form, but also learned about the changes undergone by the human body in puberty. Melmo, perhaps, was already on Tezuka’s mind when he tried a different take on the idea of a child in a woman’s body: The Sleeping Bride.


In the form of screenwriter Chiaki Konaka, Sleeping Bride had a perfect shepherd to the screen. A writer for many anime and live-action shows, Konaka has demonstrated a recurring interest in the position of women in modern society. As the creator of the anime Armitage III, he experimented with the implications of technology that made it possible for android women to give birth. In his remake of Bubblegum Crisis, he accentuated the fetishised nature of the heroines’ special armoured suits, showing how they confined and imprisoned, even as they supposedly empowered. Perhaps most notably, Konaka also wrote the obscure early digital anime, Malice Doll, a surreal tale about inanimate sex dolls coming to life.


Japanese popular culture often seems obsessed with dolls, with passive women, with spousal blank slates upon whom a man writes character and desire. Many Japanese shopgirls are still trained to pitch their voices to infantile heights. Many celebrity role models continue to act in a relentlessly childish manner. The late psychologist Takeo Doi identified an element of the Japanese character which he called “the anatomy of dependence”, whereby power roles in Japan are defined by every relationship requiring a parent-role in charge, and a child-role seeking support and indulgence.


Doi’s 1986 book The Anatomy of Dependence, was regarded on its publication as a significant contribution to the psychiatry of the Japanese character. But notably, it was published fifteen years after Tezuka wrote this story about a woman with the mind of a child. Nor, for Tezuka, was there the quick easy fix of happy ending or a convenient bereavement. Yuichi’s love for Yumi is pure and surpasses any other concern in his life, as we discover in the moments that close both the original comic and the film it inspired. Yumi may live a lifetime in her scant days awake, but Yuichi lives a lifetime too, the old-fashioned way.

Jonathan Clements is the author of Schoolgirl Milky Crisis: Adventures in the Anime and Manga Trade.

Things I Learned From Japanese Television

Rain makes you sneeze.

Any injury can be healed with a white sticking-plaster on the cheek.

Sex always leads to pregnancy.

Nothing good will come of foreign travel.

Women in white are psychos (unless they are getting married).

Old women are either mad or Kaoru Yachigusa

Every Japanese home has a spare green-ink divorce application form.

It’s impossible to find a deserted roof-top from which to throw oneself.

If you have a college reunion, someone is going to have an affair.

If you have a college reunion, someone is going to die.

Episode one marriage = episode one widow.

End with a wedding, but not the one everyone expects.

(Originally printed in the Dorama Encyclopedia: A Guide to Japanese TV Drama Since 1953, by Jonathan Clements and Motoko Tamamuro, 2003).

Eurovision Shouty I-Spy 2010

Back by popular demand, the Eurovision Shouty I-Spy Game. Now something of an international fixture, and ruining the neighbours’ evenings, not only in the UK, but in Sweden, Finland and Ireland. Hello to all our new players around the world.

Step One: you will probably need to be quite drunk. Step Two: The following sights will be seen during this Saturday’s Eurovision Song Contest. Can you see them first? Remember to shout it out. Party hosts will need to keep score of who gets what first, or otherwise dish out the forfeits to those that aren’t quick enough. As ever, there is more than one key change, more than one “surprise” costume change, and plenty of orbital cleavage. Keep your eyes (or ears) open for any of the following. And when you notice it, SHOUT IT OUT!

With great disappointment, we had to wave bye-bye to Lithuania, the lovely crotch-grabbing, tartan-trousered, costume-changing-to-sparkly-hotpants Lithuania, gone in the semi-final, along with the Dutch and their bonkers barrel organ, and the jug-eared Swiss. But there’s still a great line-up for Saturday’s contest. With aching predictability, your correspondent has a soft spot for Armenia and Azerbaijan, and Greece is sure to get everybody shouting… a lot. For the record, Mrs Clements thinks Belgium will win. Belgium, man. Belgium…

But in no particular order, in the finals you should look out for:

Timmy Mallett on Sax
Winking
KEY CHANGE! (every time you hear one)
Bimbling*
Pink Helmet
Dancing Silver Stig Cylon
Unnecessary Violin! (several)
ORBITAL CLEAVAGE**
Bit Too Much Blue Eye Shadow, Love
The Fat Lady Sings
It’s Snowing Indoors!
Man Singing to a Picture
OPA! (every time you hear it)
Self-Harming with a Belt Sander
Pink Socks
MULLET DRESS (short at the front, long at the back)
Costume Change
FLAME ON! (every time there’s pyrotechnics)
A dress that lights up.
Accordion!
“Surprise” Tree
Double-ended Piano
Ballet Beckham in a Red Tie

(*swaying one’s head from side to side in a snakey fashion).
(**ostentatious cleavage sufficient to see from a satellite in orbit, which, according to Eurovision bra consultant Tom Clancy, requires a minimum of C-cup).

Apologies to American readers, who will have to just imagine what the world’s biggest, gayest song contest is like. Just imagine, for one day every year, Europe gets to behave the way that Japan does all the time!

Timeshift

Fascinated by the ending of Lost, not for the story (on which I gave up years ago, somewhere around episode two) but for the decision to broadcast the finale to the UK at the same time it airs in the US. Part event television, part anti-piracy measure, the simulcast won’t stop bit-torrenting, but it will presumably please advertisers, sure that at least some consumers will watch in real-time, and have to sit through the commercial breaks like mere mortals.

For modern youths, who find it so achingly difficult to wait a few days to see a TV show, this might be a welcome measure, but if I may make a modest proposal, why not broadcast *all* American television as it happens, direct to the UK? Primetime will come for Britain in the small hours of the morning, but why should that bother those of us who want to live on US time?

If 20% of the British population starts living their lives on US time, we can lose 20% of our morning rush-hour to one in the afternoon. Companies will get better use of their plant and machinery, running 24 hours a day like Japanese dubbing studios. Meanwhile, students who pour themselves out of bed “late” can be reassigned to a schedule that means their leisurely shamble into class can put them in the lecture hall bang on 9am.

The idea of a citizenry divided between night and day isn’t new. Chuck Palahniuk posited a near future scenario in Rant (2007) wherein Daytimers and Nighttimers take the strain off contemporary urban infrastructures by staggering their schedules. Don’t we do this already? If someone wants to go to bed at 6am and wake up in the early afternoon, wouldn’t this make them an ideal recruit for all those new night-shift jobs this idea will generate?

Meanwhile, everyone gets their TV as soon as it happens in the US, cutting out the middle men of bit torrenting in favour of old fashioned timeshifting and home-taping. And because nobody will know who will be awake when, we can make mobile phones illegal and force all communication to be by email.

People of Great Britain, why not write to your new coalition MP, eager for something to make his or her name, and suggest it? If you do, please suggest that we hold the London Olympics at midnight, officially “for the sake of foreign broadcasters”, but actually so I don’t have to watch any of it.

Togo to Go

Haus Publishing have put the first thirty pages of my biography of Admiral Togo online for free. Check it out!

Togo Heihachiro (1848-1934) was born into a feudal society that had lived in seclusion for 250 years. As a teenage samurai, he witnessed the destruction wrought upon his native land by British warships. As the legendary ‘Silent Admiral’, he was at the forefront of innovations in warfare, pioneering the Japanese use of modern gunnery and wireless communication. He is best known as ‘the Nelson of the East’ for his resounding victory over the Tsar’s navy in the Russo-Japanese War, but he also lived a remarkable life – studying at a British maritime college, witnessing the Sino-French War, the Hawaiian Revolution, and the Boxer Uprising. After his retirement, he was appointed to oversee the education of the Emperor, Hirohito. This new biography spans Japan’s sudden, violent leap out of its self-imposed isolation and into the 20th century. Delving beyond Togo’s finest hour at the Battle of Tsushima, it portrays the life of a diffident Japanese sailor in Victorian Britain, his reluctant celebrity in America (where he was laid low by Boston cooking and welcomed by his biggest fan, Theodore Roosevelt) forgotten wars over the short-lived republics of Ezo and Formosa, and the accumulation of peacetime experience that forged a wartime hero.

About the Author

Jonathan Clements is the author of A Brief History of the Samurai, and biographies of many prominent figures in Asian history, including Coxinga, Prince Saionji and the First Emperor of China.

If Shakespeare Wrote Japanese TV

As an exercise, imagine a familiar storyline, after 15 minutes with a Japanese TV script editor:

Romeo Tanaka is a young business executive at Montague, a prominent Tokyo trading house. He sneaks into the latest product-launch by rival company Capulet Inc, only to fall in love with Juliet Nakamoto, a pretty marketing executive. After an initial set of misunderstandings, the two begin a clandestine affair, aided by Romeo’s comedy sidekick Mercutio, who is secretly in love with Juliet’s personnel manager Nurse. Meanwhile, sneaky Capulet manager Tybalt has taken an undercover job at Montague. Things appear to settle down, until Romeo’s ex-girlfriend Rosalind reappears and tries to lure him back.

Juliet wrongly believes that Romeo loves Rosalind, and gives in to her father, the chairman of Capulet, who wants her to go on a date with Hong Kong business associate Paris Wong. Meanwhile, scheming Capulet manager Tybalt plots to get Romeo thrown out of the company.

Discredited at head office, Romeo is offered a foreign business placement, but turns it down, not realising that Juliet has taken a similar post in order to be with him. Romeo’s friend Mercutio finds Tybalt doctoring company documents, and is injured in a fall when he tries to stop him. Reunited at Mercutio’s bedside at Apothecary Hospital, the cast realise that Romeo is innocent. Romeo is exonerated of all accusations, but Juliet slips away, to prepare to fly abroad for her posting in Taiwan. Romeo rushes to the airport, where he stops her just before she gets on her plane.

In a surprise twist, Rosalind meets Mercutio as he is discharged from hospital, and confesses that she has fallen in love with him. At the double-wedding that follows, Juliet and Rosalind both throw their bouquets, which are caught by Nurse and Doctor Apothecary, who smile shyly at each other.

(Originally printed in the Dorama Encyclopedia: A Guide to Japanese TV Drama Since 1953, by Jonathan Clements and Motoko Tamamuro, 2003).

We Will Mock You

Perched above London’s Tottenham Court Road like a misplaced effigy of Saddam Hussein is the 20-foot fake-bronze statue of Freddie Mercury, late moustachioed lead singer of Queen. His image adorns the front of the Dominion Theater, where the sci-fi musical We Will Rock You plays to a packed house every night. The second act begins with a rendition of the group’s 1980s hit “One Vision,” used here as an ironic attack on homogenized, dull, global media culture. In the midst of the fast food, inane branding and Newspeak on the multiple screens, We Will Rock You permits its audience a glimpse of the kind of garbage that will infect the world’s television broadcasts in the 24th century. It has bright colors, spiky hair, and big eyes. It is all anime.

Britain’s Sci-Fi channel must have missed that particular memo. If you want to see anime on the nation’s bastion of future-TV, you have to look very hard indeed. Stay up until five in the morning and insomniac viewers may be rewarded with episodes of Bubblegum Crisis Tokyo 2040. An audience of highly baffled nightwatchmen will also be spitting out their cornflakes in surprise at Excel Saga. Of all the things to hit your brain that early in the day…! The Sci Fi channel has ‘de-prioritised’ anime for now, a decision that should amuse all long-term industry watchers, because we’ve heard it all before, at least twice. Give it another few months, the staff will change once more, and some bright spark will opine that these here Japanese cartoons are the Next Big Thing. Again.

We Will Rock You lampoons the crass commercalisation of entertainment on a nightly basis. My ticket cost me $70. A packet of mints in the foyer was five bucks.

(This article first appeared in Newtype USA magazine, April 2004).

Mad in Taiwan

In the last week I have been interviewed by Chinese TV, press-passed my way behind the fences and up into the rafters at the boat launch, and chased down the street after two rival Goddess of the Sea processions with a stills camera. I’ve walked along a beach interviewing an eminent professor, and poked around an illegal temple to Coxinga, literally built on the shifting sands of the Taiwan Strait. I’ve also notched up many hours of talking headness, wittering to camera about Coxinga’s rebellious life and explosive conclusion.

The crew from Marc Pingry Productions was based in the super-swish Tayih Landis, a film-makers’ dream of a hotel with wireless internet throughout, a producer-proof business centre, bellhops eager to cart around a truck full of camera equipment and the best breakfasts I have ever had. And a gym, and a pool. And insulated beverages in the tea house that allow us to periodically say: “Let’s go and drink from the furry cup.” It also had a convenient six-floor shopping centre next door, for all those handy last minute runs to grab a hacksaw, three rolls of gaffer tape, a CD of devotional music dedicated to the Goddess of the Sea, and a crate of beer.

With 5am calls and midnight finishes, I am lucky I saw any of the city at all. But for a workaholic like me, it was the best possible way to see Tainan. Get up, drive to location A, shoot two set-ups, drive to Location B, repeat, back to the hotel for breakfast. Then out again for the next shoot… rinse, repeat, from location scout to shooting, to equipment hire, to scriptwriting.

Our fixer Johnson Hu was on hand to drive the van, argue with the natives, run for iced tea and twirl a boom mike. Thanks to him, I had the most wonderful Coxinga fanboy experience. I got to see the beach where Coxinga’s troops came ashore, to poke around the halls at the place where he died, and to clamber over the ruins of the castle he took from the Dutch. I was also pushed in front of a crowd at an academic forum on Chinese marine history, where I spoke about Coxinga’s Japanese relatives, some of whom witnessed key moments in 19th century history, and one of whom opened the first coffee shop in Japan in 1889.

We’re still in an ongoing debate about what this documentary should be called. A Hero’s Legacy? Sailing into History? The Master of the Seas? Defiance Deified? Ship Floats? Since the reconstruction of the 17th century boat is the centrepiece, I have suggested Whatcha Gonna Do With All That Junk? But I don’t think anyone is going with that.

The people in Tainan have built a replica of the Taiwan Boat, the junk that made the long trip from Taiwan to Hirado in Japan. There is a lively and incredibly entertaining debate underway about what a replica should be, how faithful it should be in order to satisfy historians; how practical it should be to satisfy health and safety; how durable it should be to satisfy the money-men. The camera crew are back in June to film the re-enactments of Coxinga’s life, and I’ve had so much fun I’m ready to volunteer to carry sandbags if it’ll get me back there.

But no rest for the wicked. Off to Sweden today to discuss the career of Major General Peng Liyuan, the Chinese soprano who looks ever so good in uniform. And back in London next week for meetings about my next book: I’m not done with maritime China yet…

My Heart Won't Let Me Say

Another blast from the past — a song translation from 1997 when I was doing rhyming lyrics for Pioneer CDs. This is from the Oh! My Goddess video series opening and closing themes. They were for the full-length versions that I can’t actually find on You Tube. But you can get an idea from the 90 seconds that were actually used in the show. If you’re interested in methods and tricks for this sort of thing, I did talk briefly about songs in a lecture I gave to the Department of Literary Translation at the University of East Anglia, a full transcript of which appears in the book Schoolgirl Milky Crisis.

By your side, but I still want more

Need your love, but I can’t be sure

Try to give my heart away

But you think it’s just a game we play Continue reading